A few days ago, I met my old neighbor Bakulaben at the market. She was standing outside a wedding cloth store, looking a bit anxious, glancing around, checking her watch every now and then. It seemed like she was waiting for someone. I spotted her from a distance, and my heart pulled me to meet her after so many years. They say the first neighbor is the closest! I was sure she would be happy to meet me, too. So, I quickly crossed the road and stood behind her, then asked, "How are you, Bakulaben? Who are you waiting for?"
Hearing my voice, she turned around and smiled with delight. "Oh, Nita Ben! How are you? It's been so many years!"
"Thank you, it's great to see you. I have some good news! Nikita's engagement is done! The wedding is after Diwali!"
I was so happy to hear that and congratulated her. I asked, "Who are you waiting for?"
She replied, "I'm waiting for Nikita. She will come here directly from her job. We need to buy things for the wedding."
I asked, "Why so soon? The wedding is still a while away—five or six months. Why don't you relax a bit?"
Bakulaben laughed and said, "There are so many preparations for the wedding, Nita Ben! We'll do them little by little, and everything will be ready on time. The first thing we did after the wedding date was book the hall. Otherwise, the good halls get booked quickly. Since our relatives are wealthy, they want a good hall with enough parking for the guests. Once the hall is booked, we will also need to book a beautician for the bride. If you know anyone, let me know. The famous ones charge a lot, at least 25,000. After that, we will look for jewelry, outfits, and so on. The days will pass by in no time, and we won't even realize it. Right now, we're only preparing for the engagement. It's a small function, with just close relatives."
She continued, "Even though we are doing small things, the budget keeps growing. This is the sale season, so we might get a few things cheaper. I’ve saved some money in Nikita’s name, and I’ve been buying gold for her since she was little, so I’m not too worried, but of course, there is some anxiety. This is our first big event, and nothing should go wrong! We need to be very careful about the new bride too."
She spoke all this in one breath, and I could see the clear anxiety on her face. I reassured her, "Don't worry, everything will fall into place."
(But in my mind, her words seemed so true, and I felt a little sad. How much planning parents have to do for just one day of their daughter’s wedding!)
Indeed, there are so many preparations for a wedding. From the band to the invitations, caterers, photographers, mehendi ceremony, musical evening, priests, decoration, menu for the food, reception venue, the bidai, honeymoon, and so on. The more we prepare, the less it feels. At the last moment, something always gets missed, and we end up running around!
It made me think: For just one day’s wedding, so much preparation goes into it, but what about the real preparation needed for a lifelong marriage?
Have we ever thought about preparing our son or daughter mentally for marriage? Have we considered whether they are truly ready to handle the responsibilities of family life, finances, and the balance between all these duties?
Are we prepared to let go of some of our attachments when our daughter goes to her in-laws? Are we, as parents, ready to adjust to a new daughter-in-law coming into our home?
These mental preparations for marriage are often overlooked. Once the wedding happens, then comes the real test. Expectations may or may not be fulfilled. What do we do when that happens? Have we thought about it?
The wedding is not just the union of two people but also of two families. To make it a joyful experience for life, both sides need to prepare thoroughly.
Just like pre-wedding photoshoots, there should also be pre-wedding counseling sessions for both families and the bride and groom. This could potentially prevent many engagements and marriages from falling apart. It’s a need for today’s times.
I hope that the representatives and elders of our society take note of this suggestion.
Thank you!
Weddings Are One Day—Marriage Is Forever: Emotional Planning for Marriage is must.
Disclaimer: The purpose of this article is only to raise social awareness. If anyone's thoughts are opposed or disagreed upon, I apologize.
Dr. Neeta @JivanJagruti
To read the next articles in this series, follow the link below: https://drneetathakkar.blogspot.com/ Please like, share, and comment!
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